EvilFurby22 Initiate
Posts : 115 Join date : 2008-05-27 Age : 30 Location : EDINA!!!!!!!!
| Subject: Iraq Story. Its a little long, but i think it could be entertaining. Mon May 25, 2009 11:11 pm | |
| (Drivers seat of Humvee, looking out across Iraqi city) “Mozul, Iraq….actually a pretty place if you take out all the wreckage and smoke…” (Sitting in side seat) “What the fuck you talking about Bjornes? This is a shit hole and you know it” “Shut the hell up Forester, I can think whatever the hell I want.” “Yeah, well your thinking wrong. Hell, I bet all these people would be a lot happier if they had something green to look at every morning…its just….sand…and shit.” (Sergeant manning Mk19 Turret above) “Forester, Bjornes, shut your mouths, we’re entering into a bad neighborhood. They’re already pissed at us for being here, don’t let ‘em hear you shit talking their country. Bjornes, just drive straight and get us through here as fast as possible” “Bitch.” “Shut up Forester. Just watch out for angry looking guys holding guns.” “I’m angry, and I’m holding a gun…does that mean anything?” “Yeah Forester, it means you’re a Marine. Now seriously, shut the hell up.” (Slams on brakes) “SHIT! Did you see that guy!? He just ran across the alley, I swear he was carrying an RPG.” “Fuck, yeah I saw him too." (Sergeant on turret) “Bjornes! Why the hell are we stopping?!” “Sir, we just saw a possible hostile about 40 meters up ahead. Permission to check it out?” “Aw, what the hell, go ahead. I’ll keep on the Mk19, move up, I gotcha covered…and you know, why don’t you take Forester with you.” (Forester getting out of Side seat) “God damn it” “Stow it Forester, go do your job.” (Walking towards possible hostile’s location) “Damn its quiet dude.” “You know we’re fucked, right? Locals know when things are gunna go down, they get in their houses, get their children inside….i haven’t seen anyone since we pulled into this alley…” “Bjornes, I love you, you know that right?” “Heh, I don’t go that way Fores-“ (Machine gun fire erupts, bullets hit Bjornes mid chest. Forester quickly breaks for cover in an outcrop in the wall, not seeing Bjornes go down.) “Son of a bitch! Bjornes is down, he’s not moving!” (Sergeant opens up with the Mk19, quickly silencing the enemy guns. Forester leaves cover to tend to Bjornes.) “Fuck dude, come on. Gimme’ something, your armor should have done something. Damn, theres blood everywhere. Jesus Christ dude…MEDIC!!” (Medic runs over, as soon as he reaches Bjornes and Forester multiple RPG’s lance out and engulf the lead Humvee in a ball of fire. They together drag Bjornes limp body back to cover.) “Get in cover, god damn it, die mother fuckers!!” (Forester plugs multiple M-16 rounds into the chest of a revealed insurgent) “Dropped the fucker!” (Medic yells to Forester over the roar of the firefight) “Cover me while I work on keeping this guy from bleeding out, if you can, try and reach HQ, get us air support, choppers, anything!” “You think you can patch him up doc?” “I dunno, it looks like the first few rounds didn’t do any damage, but they softened up the body armor and the other rounds were able to get in. His ribs seem to have shattered” “How do you know?” “Because I can actually see them…” “HQ, this is Charlie Six, we have multiple casualties, are pinned down and need support. Our location is 2 klicks North of checkpoint Romeo, Bazra district, over. (A few seconds of static silence pass) “Charlie Six, this command, all of our elements are currently engaged, your going to have to dig yourselves out. If not, we can provide close air support in about 20min. Otherwise its up to you, sorry.” “God fucking damn it! We got 20min till possible support.” “I stopped the bleeding! I think…he still has a pulse, its incredibly weak though…” “Hang in there buddy, helps on the way…” (After about 15min the shooting dies down. The other Humvee’s are able to get through the wreckage of the first one and get to the three men.) (Unknown soldier) “Quick, hop in, we’re getting out of here!”
Last edited by EvilFurby22 on Tue May 26, 2009 6:13 pm; edited 1 time in total | |
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Crazychristian Admin
Posts : 839 Join date : 2008-05-20 Age : 31 Location : Edina, Minnesota
| Subject: Re: Iraq Story. Its a little long, but i think it could be entertaining. Mon May 25, 2009 11:14 pm | |
| Nice
Just a few Q's
-are you going to continue? -how long did that take? -do you have anything planned out?
And this actually inspires me to write a story that I have always been wanting to write. | |
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Jeff Acolyte
Posts : 689 Join date : 2008-05-21 Age : 31 Location : Edina, MN
| Subject: Re: Iraq Story. Its a little long, but i think it could be entertaining. Mon May 25, 2009 11:23 pm | |
| whoa, that was great. like christian, i feel inspired to write about something now rly good job though | |
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Jake Initiate
Posts : 215 Join date : 2008-05-21 Age : 29 Location : Edina
| Subject: Re: Iraq Story. Its a little long, but i think it could be entertaining. Tue May 26, 2009 12:16 am | |
| Yea did u write that (no offense) that was relaly good! I dont feel inspidred though hahahahahhaah | |
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Jeff Acolyte
Posts : 689 Join date : 2008-05-21 Age : 31 Location : Edina, MN
| Subject: Re: Iraq Story. Its a little long, but i think it could be entertaining. Tue May 26, 2009 12:28 am | |
| hahaha jake :elephant: thats the fattest thing i can think of of these smiley things | |
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EvilFurby22 Initiate
Posts : 115 Join date : 2008-05-27 Age : 30 Location : EDINA!!!!!!!!
| Subject: Re: Iraq Story. Its a little long, but i think it could be entertaining. Tue May 26, 2009 6:16 pm | |
| Yeah, i wrote that, i showed part of it to christian when i was writing it. I think it ends a little fast, i dunno...just wanted to do something more modern. | |
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AILD VIP
Posts : 900 Join date : 2008-05-21 Age : 31 Location : Edina
| Subject: Re: Iraq Story. Its a little long, but i think it could be entertaining. Tue May 26, 2009 11:49 pm | |
| Thats sweet dude, although i guess you are right about the sorta abrupt ending. But otherwise, it is really good. Just the right balance of talking and narrative description. | |
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| Subject: Re: Iraq Story. Its a little long, but i think it could be entertaining. | |
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